Once upon a time, there was a girl named Annie who went to college. Upon moving out of home and starting her own life, she also entered the world of dating that counts. As her parents put it, she had finally become an eligible receiver down field. In plain terms, she was no dating to find an eternal companion. At first she thought that it wouldn't be that hard to transition. I mean, she was still only 18. No returned missionary would look twice at her because she was too young! How wrong she was.
Shortly after embarking on this journey she found that RM's don't really care that much about age. Even if they have only been dating for a few weeks, these fearless RM's will bring up the big M word. Marriage. (Now, I know what you're thinking. "Mawidge. Mawidge is what brings us together today." Haha! I couldn't resist putting in a Princess Bride quote.) Needless to say, that doesn't really fly with an 18 year-old. Annie was smarter than that. She dodged a bullet and moved on.
Slowly, Annie found out that not all of the boys she went on dates with are the same way. But a lot of them are. After doing a lot of thinking, Annie thought that she had it figured out, why all these men were so anxious to "put a ring on it". Missionary Presidents are urging the missionaries, right before they go home, to make marriage a priority. Even in Annie's stake conference they said to "Keep the end goal of temple marriage in your mind on every date." This puts a lot of pressure on everyone concerned with dating. They feel the need to obey their leaders and not put marriage off.
Annie came to the conclusion that, these are good motives, but they are also risky. Since young people are told to remember why they go on dates and to actively search for their eternal companion, people are rushing into things. At BYU there is an unspoken rule, first date you pretty much always say yes too. Second date you must really like the person. Third date it is ok to hold hands, cuddle, and possibly kiss because you are basically "dating" by that point. So, obviously dates are risky/tricky things. You can't really know someone by the third date, but there is so much pressure and significance attached to it, that you have to make very quick judgements about who you are interested in.
Another problem with this, that Annie found, was that not only does dating progress super fast, but "hanging out" is highly discouraged. So, if you can't hang out without disobeying the prophet's counsel, but you go on three dates and you are "dating", how are you supposed to really get to know people before you are actually in a relationship with them?
After much thought, Annie decided that we need to allow people more time to get to know each other. Stop rushing the physical. There is no harm in waiting until the 5th or 6th date to hold hands or to say that you are "dating". Hang out a little before hand and get to know the person as a friend before you pursue a dating relationship with them. No girl will be offended if you take time and get to be her friend before pulling a move. When guys move super fast with the physical part of the relationship, the girl winds up feeling used. Girls need to stop allowing themselves to be cheap. It is alright to wait on letting the boy kiss you. If you are not ready for a relationship, don't become physical.
Now, having thought and said all of this, Annie realized that she might be taken the wrong way. She is in no way suggesting that young people do not make marriage a priority, or that they shouldn't date. She just wishes that people would date in a better way. Such as 1.) become friends, get to know if you get along and can have fun together. 2.) go on lots of dates just seeing the person in different circumstances and spending time one-on-one. 3.) hold off on the physical until you are sure that you are ready to date that person exclusively. If everyone did these things, there would be a lot less confusion and heartache during the dating process.
Even though Annie has figured this out, no one else seems to be on the same page as her. Eventually she will find her prince charming and live happily ever after, but for now she is trying to patiently endure the life of a single girl at college and the dating scene, where she is an eligible receiver down field.
The End.
