Change

Here I stand on the precipice of change.  I used to be scared of all of the changes that were coming.  Being abandoned by my friends, starting fresh with new people, new classes and the such.  Now, at this moment I'm chomping at the bit for change to come!  Come Tuesday night and I will be finished with my first year of college.  It feels like just yesterday I was starting, wishing that I could go back to high school where I had friends and felt comfortable.  Now I'm ready for my new adventures.  Part of this is the fact that my worrying over if I should go on a mission or not is finally over.
         On Sunday, Arpil 14, during church I was called into my Bishop's office.  I assumed that it was for ecclesiastical endorsement.  I also thought "this will be a great opportunity to talk with him about a mission!" I walked into his office and we chatted for a minute.  I brought up my thoughts and feelings on a mission, Bishop reassured me that I would know when it was the right time to go on a mission.  After that he said, "The reason I wanted to talk with you was to extend to you a calling."  I was floored.  I really didn't see that coming.  As he was telling me about it, I realized that this was my answer about a mission.
          After church I went to a "Listen and Learn" with my stake relief society presidency.  In this meeting one of the speakers related our callings to a mission.  She started to read the standard missionary call letter.  For me it would have read "Dear Sister Annie, you have been called to serve as a Relief Society President.  You will serve in a YSA ward in Provo.  You have been found as one worthy to serve in this calling......" and so on.  This really was my answer.  I'm called on a mission in my own ward to serve the women and minister to them.  I feel unequal to this calling.  I'm the youngest girl in my ward.  There are lots of girls that could do so much better than I can, but this is where the Lord needs me right now.
          This will be a big change for me.  I will have to stop going to so many farewells or going home for the weekend.  Even though that will be hard, I'm ready for it!  I have two finals left before this semester is over.  That means making new friends and starting new classes.  I have also found that I'm changing on the inside.  I don't really care about the same things that I used to care about.  I'm more focused on what will really impact me.  I've also found that I have not been as outgoing as I used to be.  I'm SO ready to change that.  I want to make changes that will make me a better person and will help others around me!  So, here it goes.  I'll take one step at a time to make sure that the changes going on around me and in me are good.

Lessons from Choral Music

Alright, so yesterday it was a rainy Monday.  I love the rain when I can sit inside, wrapped in a blanket and listen to the rain, but I'm not really a fan of it when I have to trudge through it up to school.  Add this to the fact that I had tons of homework, didn't get enough sleep the night before and feeling extremely sick, made me not the happiest person and kind of put me in a bad mood.  It was with this feeling of darkness that I went into my choir class.  I had already skipped my first two classes because I just couldn't handle it and needed to do some homework, but wound up falling asleep.  Choir was the first class I walked into, and at first I couldn't sing and didn't really want to.  All I could think about was going back to my apartment and sleeping some more, when I decided to change my attitude about it.  I was going to think of what the songs actually mean and how I can convey their message to the audience I will be performing for in a week.  When my attitude changed, an amazing thing happened.  I was able to feel the meaning of the words of the songs and have them change me.  The one that really hit me was a song called O Taste and See.  In this song it says "O taste and see how gracious the Lord is.  Blessed are they who put their trust in Him."  This means that, when I trust the Lord and his plan for me, I will be blessed.  Later on in the song it says, "So let us love each other well, as God loved us when he gave, the perfect love, His son, our Lord, that all our souls might be saved."  In the ten commandments we are told to love our neighbors.  What struck me in this song, is that it is a prayer to God for Charity, because that is the pure love of Christ.  I want to have this, to love the people I'm around as God would have me love them.  Sometimes I feel like I am very good at loving my friends and family, but there are times and certain people that I can easily mock or make fun of, but this isn't what God would want me to do.  To have the pure love of Christ and to love our neighbors, I must love everyone.  This started to change my attitude for the rest of the day.  I started to smile more.  Just this little thing made a big difference. 
         This change reminded me of the songs that I have sung before that have changed me.  One is from the choir I am in currently, In Humility which we sang in a Devotional at BYU.  A couple other songs were Come Thou Fount, which I was able to sing in the Tabernacle on Temple Square, and Lord Make Me and Instrument of Thy Peace.  I urge you to listen to these.  In Lord Make me an Instrument of thy peace, it has a part where it is listing all of the things that we are each striving to do.  Towards the end it says "For it is in giving that we receive.  For it is by faith that we believe. For in forgiving, we are forgiven.  It is in dying that we are born to eternal life."  Every time I sing these words, I feel the Holy Ghost touch my heart.  We are told to forgive all men, and as we follow this, we are promised that when we repent and go to Christ to ask forgiveness, He will give it to us.  This is an amazing promise!  These songs have inspired me to become an instrument in the hands of God and to help others "taste and see how gracious the Lord is".

My Reasons for Blogging.

        Ever just had a bunch of things that you're thinking about, that you just need to express in a place where people will actually hear what you are saying?  Well, that is how I've been feeling lately.  So much in my life has changed recently.  All of my closest friends have left on LDS missions, or have their calls  and are waiting to leave.  They are all going around spreading the Gospel and inviting people to learn more about our church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.) and sharing their testimonies all over the world.  This has left me a little lonely.  I'm one of five out of twenty-eight friends who aren't going to serve missions (as of right now that is....).  This blog will be a place for me to share the things that I have learned and my thoughts on different subjects, or just things that I feel like saying. 
          To start off, General conference, where our prophets and apostles speak and teach us, was this weekend.  Afterwards I felt like jumping for joy right up onto the band wagon of missionary work, though I knew I still had a lot of praying, soul searching, and studying to do before that would even be a possibility.  But my desire to share what I know was so strong, I knew I had to do something about it.  The talk that really motivated me to join the thousands of people doing missionary work was given by Elder Russel M. Nelson.  His talk was titled "Catch the Wave".  Here is a short video to give you an idea of what his talk was like.... http://www.lds.org/prophets-and-apostles/unto-all-the-world/catch-the-wave?lang=eng  If you want to hear the whole talk, go to this link:  Elder Russel M. Nelson's talk
           There were other talks though, that let me know that I can share my testimony through other ways, while I figure out if a full time mission is in the cards for me or not.  That again, is one of my reasons for this blog.  As I grow in knowledge and understanding, I want to share it with anyone who is willing to listen.  I'm not the best writer.  My words never seem to come out right, but I will do my best to convey my thoughts in a way that is interesting and exciting to read and explore. 
           I hope you all stay for a while and listen to me.  Thanks for your time!
~Annie